A few years ago, I was taking a class, and one day, we were asked to answer three questions.
Question 1: “Who do you hope to become? (How do you want to be described in 5 years?)
Question 2: “Who are you becoming today? (If today is a product of my choices from yesterday, who am I becoming?)
Lastly, Question 3: How do you think God describes you right now? What do you tell yourself God thinks to himself when he thinks of you?
For me, my answers looked like this:
Q1: Gentle, Kind, Honest, Consistent, Strong and Trustworthy
Q2: Lazy, Selfish, Undisciplined, Weak, Anxious
Q3: Disappointed, Frustrated, Done, Needy …
It’s safe to say that this exercise is invasive. It made me think about all my past failures, how they shaped me and who I was becoming. What would Peter’s answers have looked like during his time with Jesus?
Throughout the Gospels, we read stories of Peter having special interactions with Jesus. Peter walks on water with Jesus. He sees Jesus raise a girl from the dead, and Peter declares, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God!” All of these are pivotal moments in his life, but at the same time, he has some low moments. He takes his eyes off Jesus on the water and begins to sink. He falls asleep in the Garden while Jesus prays before his arrest. He denies his relationship with Jesus 3 different times right next to a charcoal fire, all within a few hours.
I cannot imagine how heavy his heart is when the rooster crows and Peter realizes what has happened. Peter emphatically states that though others fall away, he will not, and Jesus foretells Peter’s impending denial. We read that once the rooster crows, Peter breaks down and weeps, mourning and recognizing his failure.
I don’t know about you, but I have found myself in similar situations. Making promises to God that I cannot keep. Though I muster all the strength to not fall into sin again, I am back where I started. I believe the lies that God is frustrated with me, angry that I can’t get it right and tired of trying to fix me. I take my past experiences with humans, and I imprint that onto Jesus. But that’s not who he is, that’s not his heart.
In Mark 16, when Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Salome visit the empty tomb, they are instructed to tell his disciples of the good news! In John 21, when Jesus reveals himself to his disciples as they are fishing, it’s almost exactly like when he first called Peter to follow him, probably the best day of Peter’s life. When Peter realized it was Jesus at the shore, he threw himself into the water and raced to meet his resurrected Lord. When they reached shore, Jesus had a charcoal fire burning and breakfast waiting for them. Three times, Jesus asks Peter, “Do you love me?” Three times, Peter responds with, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” And each of those three times, Jesus responds by calling him to care for his sheep. It’s almost like the night of Peter’s three denials, but it’s filled with a hopeful future action rather than a shameful look back.
Jesus’ intention wasn’t to scorn or punish Peter by asking him these repeated questions. He wasn’t shaming Peter for his failure. I think Jesus was recreating and retracing an event that once caused Peter so much pain and agony, calling him to walk in the freedom of forgiveness, joy and no more shame. This is possible because of what happened a few days prior, the Resurrection.
Jesus made breakfast for Peter when Peter thought he least deserved it.
I’m not sure what your story is or where you are in your walk, but I hope these words are encouraging to you. The finished work of Jesus on the cross is truly good news. We sing that the wrath of God was satisfied. Jesus took our sin, our debt and paid it in full. Not 99.999%, he paid it 100%. Not only that, but he also clothes us in his righteousness! We are now one with Christ, co-heirs, adopted into his family as children! If this is the case, then why do we believe that God doesn’t want us or that he’s tired of being related to us? God’s grace is sufficient for all sins past, present and future. His life, death and resurrection make all of this possible! The Christian Life is based on our need and dependence on a Savior, Jesus. So why would that change? Why do we default to trying to earn and work for God’s love and acceptance when he has given himself fully with our worst days in mind? He is a perfect, loving, kind and gentle Father whose grace is incomprehensible. He’s calling us to rest in light of his work. He’s made breakfast for us. He’s made breakfast for you.