It’s a subtle feeling. It isn’t loud like anger or anxiety. It doesn’t call attention like happiness or stress. It sneaks in quietly and begins taking over small moments. Sometimes, it’s a comfortable feeling, so we let it be. Apathy. Simply not feeling strongly or caring deeply – what’s wrong with that? Lack of concern or interest, indifference – how could this lead me to sin or wrongdoing? It’s a subtle feeling, but subtle doesn’t mean insignificant. Subtle also does not mean there are no consequences.
Apathy steals from us— it steals our ability to connect with God and others through our emotions. Apathy steals our ability to feel empathy, compassion, care and concern. For those of us who do not love feeling our emotions too much, who find them inconvenient, overwhelming or just plain annoying, apathy can feel like a sweet relief— feeling nothing. Unmoved. Sometimes, this seems preferable to all the other feelings. Yet apathy robs us of feeling the spectrum of emotions God has given us the capacity to feel, and without those emotions, we are inactive. That’s what feelings, rightfully felt and processed before God, are intended to do: as we experience feelings that indicate something important going on in us, we are moved to action.
In my own life, apathy has been a bit of an unwanted companion in different seasons. It sneaks into my heart quietly during busyness and stress. I don’t notice that I’m feeling apathetic until something genuinely joyful, sweet or good happens, and I notice somewhere in the back of my head, I think I’m supposed to feel ______ right now … and I don’t. Other times, I notice apathy when something that should move me to grief, sorrow or concern occurs and instead of feeling the familiar welling up of tears or compassion or even righteous anger. I just feel cold.
Feeling apathetic is not sinful or wrong. Like other emotions, simply experiencing the feeling is not a sin—it’s the actions apathy keeps us from taking or the actions we choose to engage in out of our apathy that could become a problem. Feeling apathetic keeps me from reaching out to others for connection, community and accountability. When I’m feeling apathetic, I don’t feel concerned with others; I fail to look at my neighbors and see what they might be walking through and how I could shoulder the burden with them. With apathy as my companion, I become self-focused, concerned only for what I need to do to get through my day with as little disruption or inconvenience as possible. I avoid the things that could shine a light on my apathy—circumstances that encourage feeling anything positive or negative.
In my walk with the Lord, apathy means I don’t feel passionate about God or the things of God. I’m not motivated to make space in my calendar for time with the Lord because it feels … pointless. My feelings of apathy, in general, become feelings of apathy about God and my relationship with him. If left unchecked, those feelings of nothing towards God and my spiritual health make my heart cold and distant from my Creator. Feeling nothing means I feel less conviction for sin, I do not feel zealous for what is good, and I feel indifferent about pursuing my relationship with the Lord. Passivity is often the result of my apathy—resulting in coasting spiritually. Unfortunately, none of us will ever coast into holiness or zeal for the Lord. So, what do we do when apathy sneaks in?
Scripture provides a helpful path to move out of apathy, one I’ve used many times in my own life when I’ve recognized the familiar coldness settling over me. 1 Corinthians 9 contrasts athletes who run aimlessly or purposelessly to those who exercise self-control and discipline. This passage, and others, remind us that discipline, though often unpleasant, allows us to run with purpose so that we may win the prize.
Discipline helps interrupt the indifference and passivity of apathy in our hearts. We must acknowledge that something has become weak and unalignment in our hearts and minds. Discipline helps us gain strength and begin to heal. When we engage in spiritual disciplines, it positions us to perceive the Lord’s presence. Though his proximity to us doesn’t change in our apathy, our perception of his presence does. Spiritual disciplines help us begin to engage again with our Creator, slowly warming the chill that’s crept in, and moving us toward health in our souls. In other areas of life, discipline helps us shake off the passivity and gives us a strenuous but doable challenge to wake us from the quiet nothing. Apathy is a subtle feeling, but it robs us of the abundant life Jesus came to offer. Fight to keep feeling, following the exhortation of Paul, “let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”