- You Suspect God Has More
You are happy with where your marriage is, but feel there are more areas in which you and your spouse can grow. You’re not dealing with any major issues, but you want to invest in your ability to love, listen and serve your spouse well.
- Unchanging Patterns
You desire transformation in your marriage and perhaps have taken steps towards change, but somehow things seem to always revert to former ways. Your heart so desperately longs for a change and you are unsure where to go next.
- Overgrown Weeds
You know what they are, those pesty little things that can take root, sprout up and suffocate the life of your marriage. Whether it’s selfishness, laziness, fear or inattention, we all have weeds that require uprooting and persistent attention.
You’re frequently unhappy and desire something different. You often fantasize about another person, another marriage or simply getting out.
- Lack of Care or Concern
You’ve grown to feel indifferent towards your spouse and are living more like roommates. You’re not connecting with one another on many levels, and you find yourself caring less about their needs and wants.
- Lack of Intimacy
You more often feel disconnected from your spouse on an emotional, physical and/or spiritual level. It feels like you’re going through the motions and you recognize it’s not merely situational.
- Lack of Confession and/or Forgiveness
You or your spouse lack the ability to confess and forgive. You do not admit ownership and admission of wrongdoings, and you hold on to grudges and offenses.
- Broken Communication
You seldom talk. You avoid “high stakes” conversations and rarely arrive at mutual understanding. Instead, you converse mostly about surface-level issues.
- Unhealthy Conflict
While all couples experience conflict, you fight a lot; and/or when you do, it gets ugly quickly. Your disagreements are not addressed reasonably or lovingly. Where there is resentment, tension and unforgiveness, it’s time to pursue marital health.
You or your spouse are hiding. This sign can be as subtle or as prevalent, wherein one of you is lying, dishonest or unfaithful in a variety of ways, from spending habits to text conversations with someone of the opposite sex.
All of these challenges can be common in marriage. As difficult as they are, the real tragedy is when we settle for them — when we learn to simply live with things as they are because we don’t know how to change them. Be cautious of falling into comparison and telling yourself “at least we’re not as bad off as (fill in the blank with other couples that you know).” You weren’t meant to live by that standard. God has more for you and your spouse.
In order for change to occur, there must be active participation. No marriage coasts into oneness. Even the healthiest of marriages require effort, intentionality, community and support. That’s where re|engage can help.
re|engage will give you a grace-filled perspective on God’s heart for you, your spouse and your marriage. You’ll gain a community where you can be open with other couples who struggle in many of the same ways. You’ll be given just enough challenge, direction and encouragement to take tangible steps of growth towards loving your spouse in a Christ-like manner.
If you desire growth in your marriage, you can expect to discover entirely new depths of joy and connection with your spouse — infinitely more than you thought possible.
God has designed marriage to be a unique avenue to display His love, mercy and grace. He alone has the power to change you, to change your spouse, to change your marriage. In Him is wisdom, intimacy and understanding, allowing you to love your spouse more freely and fully.
Give the gift of re|engage this Christmas
If you relate with one, two or even ten of the above “signs” above and question where to go from here, you’re not alone. Go to www.ccbcfamily.org/reengage to learn more about how God can create lasting change in your marriage.